We shopped for my toddler’s Halloween costume two weeks ago. Yeah, I’m the kind of mom who buys costumes instead of making them – sue me. When she’s old enough to tell me concretely what she wants to dress as, I’ll make her whatever she wants. Until then, we go to the store and find a package that appeals to her.

Shopping for a costume was kind of scary this year, but not for traditional spooky reasons. The things that little girls are supposed to get tarted up in are really starting to go over the line. Do you know what this costume is?

It’s an “army brat. Ooookay.

How about this one?

That’s “Heidi.” Not Heidi Fleiss, but the little Bavarian girl who lives with her grandfather on the mountain, etc., etc. I think this is geared more towards pre-teens, but damn, isn’t that even scarier?

OK how about this one?

That’s a “kitty cat – pink.” Me-ow.

So what’s my adorable little angel going as? Thomas the Tank Engine. THANK GOD.